Am I being selfish to move away from my boyfriend of 5 years for a schooling opportunity?
This Question From Ohio LPN Programs | 6 Answers
We have been living together for 5 years now and we moved 2 years ago to another state 10 hours away from all my family 
He got a job promotion, and I decided to come with him. Well, I am a prospective nursing student and for the last 3.5 years I have been working my buns off to get all my pre classes out of the way. The move set me back a bit, and before we moved (about 4 months) we had a conversation about me quitting my full time job so that I can get a part time job to go to school full time. When we moved here, the cost of living was a little higher and I think that it maybe got to him ,but he started pressuring me to get a full time job, he was really mean about it (he did not want me to quit school). I tired it, but I could not juggle both so now I am working part time again. The only bad thing is that here in VA Beach, I go to a community college that offered a nursing program that is full time from 8-5pm. There is not way that I can hold a job at all if I did that. I have explained that to him to get his feedback and he has said he will get a second job, and to me that is out of the question. I just don’t want to be pressured like last time, it made me feel so low. And with all the arguments we have been having lately, I don’t want to have to depend on him to support me.
I have been trying to find an LPN program, or another RN program that has night and weekend hours and for months I have been searching with no luck. Back home, my old community college offers a LPN program that is from 5-10 pm, so I would still be able to work. It is 22 months long, and I have mentioned to him that I want to go. I can live with my parents until I am done. All he thinks about is me leaving, and he really doesn’t seem to show that he understands where I am coming from, even though I have expressed my feelings many times. We both don’t like it here, and want to move back to Ohio when I get my degree. Our lease is up in Feb, and classes start in January. I told him that when the lease is up, to look for a job there. He acts like he doesn’t want to be away from me, and if he hates it so much why doesn’t he come with me? I understand where he is coming from, but this place is not feasible for me to get an education… how can I when I can’t hold a job while going through the program? It seems like he is thinking of himself more than me, but I am worried that I am being selfish by leaving????
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no, its ok
you are not at all selfish. he should be supporting you 100% for going to school . he is the one being selfish. you should not feel bad at all. that is a great deal for you. go to school while living with your parents. this will save you tons of money. if i were him, i would be looking for jobs out there right now. if he really wants to be with you he would follow you back to ohio and help you any way he can. don’t let him stop you . you go to school , get your degree and then worry about the small things.
Seems to me like he is the one being selfish. If he really doesn’t want to be away from you he will go with you. If he just wants his own way, then you are better off without him.
Do what you need to do for you.
Good Luck!
You are not being selfish for leaving.
He was going to leave you for this job he has now.
You decided to go with him. That was your decision.
Well you tried it and don`t like the fact that you cannot get your education AND work enough to keep your man in money for bills and etc.
So he wants you to just work and not get your education so he can feel
safe in knowing he will survive on what he and you make.
Now you want to leave one month before classes start. You will be getting your education and it will take another 22 months. Time you could have already put into your education, you put into supporting yourself and him.
I think he is the one being selfish. You supporting him for two years is
plenty of time for the two of you to have put away some money for emergencies. If you have not, it is sad.
Also two years is enough time to put into a company and if he really does not like it, he can start now by putting out his resume.
He may be scared that there is no work for him or he will not get hired.
If that is the case, go to school anyway. There is nothing to talk about
anymore.
You are not selfish at all, you are trying to get a good education so you two can have a decent life together.
The reason , he doesn’t want you to move back home is probably (1) he will have to pay for everything , (2) it is a stress to change job and to move but most of all, reason (3) he’s afraid of loosing you if you are apart too long
So, i think it makes him a little selfish, not you!
You should get your education done because if you end up alone, you will have to support yourself. You won’t have to depend on anyone if you have good job.
Best of luck to you
I don’t think its being selfish, your doing whats best for you, and if you want to get somewhere in life this is really helping you,and he should understand it and as much as it hurts to move away,this is really helping you though and it can help your future as well. This can prove how strong you guys are,even when your gonna be hours and miles away from each other.I think you need to sit down and discuss this and be like,” we moved here for your job,its what you wanted,and now its my turn to do what i want to do,and this can really help me get the job and career I need in life, if you loved me,youd understand and we can make this work, I wont be away forever, just for alittle”. Im sure he will understand, and your not being one bit selfish, dont ever think that,your doing what you need to do.