My Husband Has Cheated On Me 3 Times , That I Know Of.?
This Question From Tennessee LPN Programs | 26 Answers
Okay, my husband and I got married really young, I was 17, he 20. Come july 16th we’ve been married 4 years. During our marriage he’s cheated on me 3 times that I know of. The first was a one night stand when we were married only 8 months. Of course I cried and complained but we worked through it. The second time was when my used to be BEST FRIEND came to stay with us because she had gotten a divorce and been having a hard time, a year after she had stayed with us my husband told me she and he had slept together the time she had come to stay. Since then she and I are no longer friends I don’t even speak to her anymore (The actually “cheat” happen when we were married 2 years) the latest one was in March. He;d went away on a training course for the volunteer fire department in pigeon forge tennessee. I didn’t want him to go because I have HUGE trust issues, but i left it alone and he went. He was gone 2 nights. He came home on a monday and had nothing to do with me, would never tell me what was wrong. He doesn’t work,and I work a full time job Fri/Sat/Sun 12 hour shifts as an LPN. Once he came back from this trip every weekend when I’d goto work he’d somehow say he had fire calls to run and be gone all night long, and never answer his cell. finally two weeks after he’d came back he told me he was seeing someone, he didn’t love me anymore and he had very strong feelings for her. Being the wife i’ve been for 4 years I begged him to start over with me, go get couseling, anything just to make it work. He refused and said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. Since we were renting from his dad I’d have to be the one to leave even though I was the only one working the whole time we’ve been together and i’ve paid for everything including his cell, and his moms CELL. I took this for about 4 weeks and after him coming in every night at 2-3-4am drunk and knowing in my head where he was and what he was doing , I got tired of sitting and crying and holding together something that had been broken for so long. One Saturday night Sunday morning (I work thirds) I called my supervisor and asked if I could get off at 6 instead of 10 because I knew he wouldn’t be at home. That morning I did something I never have in 4 years with him, I left. some of my friends, parents, and cousins met me over at the house and I packed everything up that was mine, or that I paid for from dishes, to his toothbrush, to toilet paper. I took everything. In 2 hours the life I thought I had with him forever was gone. He didn’t even know. 4 days after I left ( i moved back in with my parents) he called crying and telling me he’d made the biggest mistake ever, and how he wanted to work things out and he’d do anything to show me he wants me, he never thought i’d really leave because I never did… anyway, needless to say he’s moved in here with me at my parents because i told him i’d never move back over there because he had her up there the day after i left. I refuse to talk to his mom, or dad because they allowed this to happen and his mom even took him and her out to eat two days after i left! Im hurt beyond repair, i don’t trust him, i hurt over it because so many days he left me crying with my heart broken not feeling good enough for him and it’s so hard to get past that. I believe in marriage with my whole heart, and I don’t believe in divorce, but when is enough enough? and how do you repair something so broken? Part of me doesn’t want to let him go because I don’t think anyone else will have me. I’m a big girl (about 300 lbs) I have PCOS (Hard for me to have children, will probably need fertility treatment) and I have hair in places men have hair because i’m also insulin resistant (face, belly, chest, etc) I thought he accepted me like no one else will, and it’s just really hard. I know i don’t deserve this, but I don’t want to be alone…One more thing, I do love him, he’s the only one i’ve ever been with, or even kissed, and I just don’t know…Do i keep on trying to fix it? I just don’t even know what to do…..
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I hate to tell you this honey, but you brought this all on your own. You knew he cheated, and you allowed him to stick around so he could do it some more. Once a cheater always a cheater. You practically gave him a license to do so. That’s what happens when a cheater has a gullible spouse/partner. They knew they were forgiven once, they can be forgiven again. Which is what you did. Therefore he did it again, and again. You became his doormat.
leave him alone, you don’t deserve what he has put you through. personally i think that he just wants to continue to live off of what you have already provided for you.
once a cheater… always a cheater! Those lines didn’t create themselves!
I dunno why ur with someone whos gonna cheat on you if my hubby did that Id kick his *** to the curb when u love someone you dont cheat!
I only read the first half.
Sorry that was WAY too long.
I could still answer just based on the question.
DUMP HIM. Who cares if he was your first kiss or you’ve been together for blah years and stuff?
Obviously, he doesn’t care. You deserve better. Even if you forgive him and “work through it”, how will you know he won’t do it again?
Once a cheater, always a cheater. He’s not going to suddenly start loving you now.
After the first time, he would have been my “ex” husband. After the best friend I would have been a widow.
Why are you still there?
Wow! You really have been through a lot. A woman’s intuition is almost always right. After reading through all of the bad things he has done to you, even cheating with your ex best friend oh my lord, yet when I read that you had made a decision to leave I was like “Amen”. Why would you now allow him to move into to your parent’s house? Stop focusing on whats you feel is a good reason for him to have cheated on you. There is never a good reason, it is never ok. You need to kick him out and get right with yourself. Reality speaking look at Halle Berry, Vanessa Williams, etc…all of the beautiful woman have all been cheated on. You deserve to be happy! IF your not happy with how you look then take some time for yourself, lose some weight, go get some waxing for your hair problems, and now days with all of the fertility drugs almost everyone can get pregnant, or you can adopt. You don’t need to be with someone who doesn’t love you back!! You took all of his things and he doesn’t have shyt without you cause he’s a loser and doesn’t work. Think about what you have to offer him and what he can offer you? Sounds a big difference to me…please from woman to woman take care of yourself. Love hurts but in time you will be happy with yourself and there will be someone there for you completely…whew lol….
I feel your pain but the first time he cheat on you- shame on him. The second time he cheated on you- shame on YOU. and now after the third time, you wise up and leave. but you let him come back with you and you continue to take care of him simply because you have low self esteem. Honey, let the low self esteem go. You are a woman and you deserve better then that and even if you don;t get better, being by yourself is better. And even if it’s not better, it can’t be as bad. You don’t have to put up with that. .
I only read the first part. There’s not much else I need to know. If my husband cheated more than once, there is no way I’d be with him.
I don’t believe in divorce either, but staying with him is only enabling him to do whatever he wants. Separate yourself from him, if he wants a divorce let him spend the money and time.
You need to regain control of your life and walk away. Rediscover your self esteem and realize that you deserve much better treatment that this. Do not accept the unacceptable. Find someone who will love and appreciate you for exactly who you are.
Good luck to you!
1.) You NEVER let a woman live with you and your husband, not EVEN your sister!
2.) Cheat on me once shame on you, Cheat me twice I LEAVE!
3.) He is laughing his *** off at you because he KNOWS you are going NOWHERE!
he cheated on u 3times and will do it again no doubt so dont think cant find another man becos u can and u will if just let go of the “boy” (wouldnt class him as a man) and learn to love urself. i know must been feeling low but i have friend who has same condition as urself, she is now engaged to wonderful man after horrible 1st marriage – she didnt give up hope and she didnt sell herself short either and this is what u need to do also.
there plenty men out there who love big women some will even want u gain more weight and u can find these men on dating sites for bigger women – i bet if joined that site u will have thousand men fall at ur feet and want make u their woman – u can not settle for this guy he is disrespectful towards u – u need somebody who will treat u like a queen, show u off to the world and want make u happy forever!
im not skinny woman and i have a man who loves and respects me for who iam and what iam and not once does he even look at another woman never mind anything else and u can have this too just get rid what u have now and find somebody else – u wouldnt regret it i promise u that. best wishes (“,)
You need to take control of your own life. You are letting other people control all of your thoughts and actions.
I would start by losing that weight…you are killing yourself slowly by remaining obese. Your other health issues and hygiene issues are most likely directly related to the obesity. You must take control of that.
And for God’s sake, dump the loser who keeps cheating. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. Good luck to you.
oh baby….its ok, you have to take control of you sweetie
no one will ever be able to treat you the way you deserve to be treated if you dont even do that for yourself. if you have low self esteem fix what bothers you. weight can be worked on and so can body hair. but dont stay somewhere were your not wanted. this man has little if no reguard for you, and all because he knows you need him so much more than he needs you. you’ll be willing to do anything for him because you dont think you deserve any better. hes manipulating you, on a daily basis robbing you more and more each day of your self worth. you were born ALONE and you’ll leave alone. i dont care what you think only you have control over you, hell if you wanted to you could even fly!! its all up to you. and the sad thing is that while the majority if not all of us are reading this and seeing how beautiful and wonderful you are and how much you dont deserve that, you dont…you have to just leave..you’ll find the courage to stay awayy on your own but for now just take a leap of faith and walk away for good. its gonna feel soo good, and stop saying that nobody will love you because let me tell you, there are men allllll around the world that would love to have a crack at you but you stifle yourself with the way you think. stop looking at yourself through everyone elses eyes(at least what you think ppl see) everyone has a different form of perception and you sound like your worst critic. things are hardly even close to what you think they are. dont ever let someone make your rules..you be the one to take control of you.change your way of thinking around to suit the life you deserve and i “”"PROMMMMMMISE”"”" things will amazingly change for the better for you. but as for him, oh he’s got to go. even if you do “love” him w/ c im not sure you do i just think you need him, no man has the right to treat you so awfully. set your standards high and make the man your with live up to them, if he doesnt( w/c he clearly isnt) bounce….he*l your worth more and he knows that. question is…do you know that.
the whole world s taking you by your own account, remember that, ppl see you how you see yourself, they have to. its the only form of energy your putting out. confidence in yourself is key to being loved by everyone around you. good luck=)
okay first off u DO NOT DESERVE THIS TREATMENT just b/c ur not
Think about the possibilities!
the best looking thing out there. that is what he is counting on he will never change b/c he knows u’ll put up with it. U DO NOT have to accept the way u r and just be defeated. leave him and work on urself theres NOTHING HOLDING U DOWN all u have is u to take care of so take care of u ! go to a gym get to a healthier weight and u’ll be surprised how ur options open up. U dont have to be tiny to have options but u r unhealthy and u need to get healthy in order to have a healthy fulfilling life. hell if u werent paying for him u could be saving for a quick fix of liposuction like i am
You ignored the signs now you pay the price. Your mad at his parents and not him!? You’re blinded by love.
Leave him, lose weight, get yourself healthy and forget about him. You deserve a better life!
unfortunately for you my dear you have become his toy. he can use and abuse you and when he gets boredhe tosses you to the side and then when the new one gets boring he’l pick you up again for a few weeks. and to top it all you allow him to do this. so its time you move on to someone that’ll appreciate you for who you are. you treat yourself very badly and so he thinks its ok for him to do it too. LEAVE.
I think no one has answered this because its too long. But I think if u really love him and think he wouldnt cheat anymore then stay with him but if not dump him and if u want then try to find another guy or u could just live happily with ur parents
Why don’t you stop directing your anger toward his mother, father and your best friend and direct it at the person that DID THIS to you!!
NOBODY else gave you those vows but HIM.
Quite taking him back, kick him out. I don’t care how much you weigh, YOU deserve better!!!
You married young because of your insecurities and you settled and you’ll never change that until you leave the person that continues to make you feel that way.
Sweetheart the biggest problem is your self esteem. You sound like a dear girl with a huge heart and you are letting this man walk all over you. Sounds like he needs alot of growing up and please dont take this the wrong way but you need to as well. I dont reccomend a divorce but strongly suggest a seperation. You need to start showing this man that he doesnt have you wrapped around his little fingers like he thinks.I would send him home and tell him we need to be apart for awhile so I can see what I want to do with my life because I’am not happy right now. That will scare the crap out of him. Make it loud and clear that this is an opportunity for the both of us that I want you to take very seriously because this can make or break us. Then you need to start working on yourself. You know the things that bother you. Your weight, your hair, and most importantly your spirit. Because my dear it is broken. Beauty is skin deep and ugly is to the bone. I guarantee you that you would be able to meet someone else someday if that is what you want.Weight can be lossed and hair can be removed, but deep scars are very hard to heal and right now the scars that he gave you needs to be healed so that way maybe in the future you both can have a better marriage. Make sure you tell this man that he has to work on himself and his issues about infidelity and what ever else so he can be a better man and husband. If you do decide to stay which I hope you dont because remember just because you are going to be apart that does not mean you cant see eachother from time to time if he is doing the things he is suppose to. But if you do decide to stay get some serious counseling for the both of you. Life is too short to be so sad and the rate you both are going your going to end up in a divorce if you dont do something about this. And my dear I dont even know you but I think your beautiful. God bless the both of you.
When was enough enough. After the first time he cheated. After the second time he cheated. Definitely after the third time he cheated.
I understand the thing about not believing in divorce. But ya know what? Even in the Bible it allows for divorce due to adultery because the Covenant has been broken. So…it’s ok to say that his affairs is enough.
Look…there are guys who like their women big. There is a lid for every pot. So, don’t worry that you won’t find a man because of your size. OK…here’s something that was frustrating to me. I am skinny and it took me until I was 42 to get married. Do you know how depressing it was to see all these big women getting men way before I did. LOL. Size had nothing to do with me not getting a man or these other women getting a man.
All kidding aside, you weigh 300 lbs today. That does not mean that you have to weigh 300 lbs next year. You are a nurse. You know that this is unhealthy for you. Work with a doctor, nutritionist, weight watchers, Jenny Craig, whatever to get on a weight loss regimen. You can lose the weight and be terrific!
Regarding the PCOS…that isn’t your opening line. You don’t meet a guy and say “hey, I can’t have children” on your first date. After a few dates, you reveal this. There are many men who will be perfectly fine with this.
Regarding the hair…so you spend a fortune getting waxed or electrolysis. That’s all.
Your husband is not worthy of you. You deserve better.
Ok he didn’t just cheat on you once. He did this 3 times that you know of and yet you are still there. Man you must like being second , third and forth choice in this relationship. I would have kicked his a$$ to the curb a long time ago and I defiantly would have not married at 17. Kids marrying kids. If you don’t leave him then you deserve to have this happen to you over and over and over again. Pleas tell me you don’t have kids…..
You sound like you need to love yourself more then you need a relationship with this man, he is making you feel worse about yourself. If this man accepted you ( which he doesnt or he wouldnt have hurt you by cheating on you)then he would have been more honorable to you. Most certainly others who will love you, but I think you need to love yourself first.
You have low self esteem. Whether you leave or not is your decision, and you’re the one who has to live with whatever decision you make. But his actions are speaking louder than his words.
You deserve someone who will love and respect you always. Don’t lower your standards because of fear of being alone. If you do, then you will always be unhappy.
that is really a sad story. but i am going to say that you need to lose weight in order to live. start today, get a trainer and get help, get the hair lasered off.
some men just won’t stop cheating. if you can live with it, stay. you have already given him permission to by staying after he cheated on you 3 times.